Don’t let the baby take over

By On · 4 Comments · In Balance, Savouring, Time

Most of us have a baby or babies (!) in our lives that demands and wants our full attention a lot of the time. Whether it’s an actual crying, poo machine (as adorable as they are!), a needy husband, a fragile friend, your own business or something else and sometimes all of the above!

When we run our own business, it’s our baby, we created it, we loose sleep over it, we become concerned. We give it all our time, questioning whether we are doing the right thing, are we on the right track etc etc.

And while our babies are very important and bring us great joy, sometimes the scales are tipped too much towards the baby and we need to rebalance for the sake of our sanity. We are not just a mum, a business owner, a wife, a friend…we are all these things and much more and in the middle of it all, there is us and without us there wouldn’t be a baby. So I invite you, today, to bring into focus YOU. This can look like slowing down, noticing your breathing, changing your focus to something completely different, letting your hair down, being irresponsible (for just a few hours!). Celebrate what you have achieved and really celebrate. Replay your journey in your mind’s eye, the ups and the downs, the learnings, the laughs. What works for you, what doesn’t work for you.

Take it a step further and when replaying your journey, write it down. Journal your thoughts, your dreams, your learnings. Get into a habit of taking time out for you to notice how your day has been, how you are feeling about things, what’s next for you and journal them.

So…commit today to doing something for you.

Leave a comment and let me know what that thing is you decided to do today and the impact it had.

Choose which lens to look through

By On · 2 Comments · In Balance, Identity

I recently received a tax rebate, yay! Yep, it’s that time of year and I get so happy when I receive unexpected money like that, I started wondering what I could do with this money and off in my dreams I went. It’s such a yummy place to be in. And then I had another thought, this is my money anyway, I am only receiving it now because someone along the way cocked up and I was paying too much tax in the first place. Now while both statements, thoughts are true, which one is serving me better? Nothing has changed, but how I view the situation, the perspective I choose to sit in, is my choice. We are always at choice, it is a matter of seeing situations through a different lens or even various lenses and choosing the lens that will support us better.

When WE  choose, we get to regain our power, our control.  What is possible when you are in control?

Do you feel stuck in a place which is not good for you and you wish you could feel differently about a certain issue, or think about the issue in another way. A playful exercise you can do is using your camera.

Look through your lens, what do you see? Explore the scene in front of you, make up a story about it, and notice what thoughts, emotions come up for you. From the place you are in now, look at the situation you wish to shift out of. Has anything changed? How are you feeling about it now? Look again through your lens putting your focus on something different, move around if it will help and once again, explore what you are seeing, what emotions are you feeling, and from this new place, look at your situation. What is different, has anything shifted for you? Do this a couple more times and allow yourself to explore your situation through various lenses. Then give yourself permission and choose the focus that serves you best. Fully stepping into the experience, the emotion and from this place, look at your situation and notice what shifts there have been. How does this new perspective better serve you?

You have given yourself the choice how to be with an issue, a challenge and gained your control back.

I appreciate this may not be easy. When we are stuck, emotional, fearful, standing in different perspectives can be tough, even when deep down we know our current perspective is not very helpful, even draining and negative. Try the exercise above, just try it, and have fun with it. How can you get creative while doing it? Is it going out in nature with your camera, is it observing the kids playing, could it be looking at one object and you physically move around it, seeing it from different angles. What comes up for you when you do that?

Top tip – use movement. When we physically move, we also shift our energy, which in turn shifts our thoughts, our emotions.

I would love to hear from you, if you try this out, and how it went. And if you have any tips on what works for you, when you need to change perspective, please share.

 

Watching Real Madrid with my dad

By On · Add Comment · In Balance, Savouring, Time

Savouring the moment, being fully present, experiencing the yummyness of this unique occasion, being grateful.

Last weekend I had the thrilling pleasure of going to see a Real Madrid game at the Bernabeu with my family. My dad has always been a massive fan and I grew up surrounded with Real Madrid excitement and becoming a fan myself. This trip was very special, not only because it was the first time I had seen a match there, but because my dad is poorly and it was something we wanted to experience together and cherish as a family.

Walking into the stadium and seeing the pitch which shone with freshness, the green so vibrant and alive as if it had just been plugged in, was truly awesome. Looking around the stadium, partially empty as we were early, let you understand the magnificence of it. There’s something for me about places, landmarks where there’s not many people, that gives me space to breath, almost as if time has stopped. So I made the most of this energy as soon after the stadium started filling up.

As our reason for being there was not purely for seeing the match, it was filled with emotion and love. Will we ever experience this again? Such a precious moment, how can I do it justice? and then understanding, there is no right or wrong here, it is about being fully present to the experience.

Sitting there I felt happy, happiness was around me, the world at this very moment in time was perfect. Seeing Real Madrid win the game, having my dad sitting beside me with a massive smile, spending quality time together. I felt truly blessed.

I have learnt there’s gratitude and appreciation if we allow ourselves to look for it in all situations. I am truly grateful for this experience and shall cherish it for ever.

Has life thrown you a curve ball which is tough to be with? I invite you to give yourself the space and ask, what can I appreciate about this situation? What else has it given me? From this perspective, what opens up for me?

I would love for you to share your stories of how you appreciate difficult, annoying, stressful situations. Leave a comment below. And if you are finding it difficult to appreciate and would like to, give me a call and we can go through some quick, simple steps to turn on your Appreciator!

Creating Serenity

By On · Add Comment · In Balance, Identity, Time

It has been a year since Creating Serenity was born. Yay, celebrations!! At the time I was seeking some much needed head space, time for me, slow down, time for reflection and the ability to acknowledge how far I had come. The name spoke and speaks to me all the time.

Once I recognised and acknowledged I needed me time and what that looked like, I put in place just that. Meditation, daily connection exercises to center me, music, yoga, nights out etc.

While all that was great and it gave me a release, an outlet, an action thing to do, the biggest impact I have noticed has been my mindshift. How my mind has changed it’s behaviour and strives for what I want and gives me what I need. This has taken time, practice, perseverance and commitment and I am learning all the time and reaping the benefits.

What I am trying to get across is all the doing things are really important, but without the mental, physical and spiritual alignment it’s just another doing thing and it can be short lived. Being fully present to what you are doing, bringing awareness into you and what is going on around you, supports you in appreciating where you are and also where you want to move forward to. Having such awareness supports you when life gets that little bit too much and you need time to stop but in reality time wont stop. Instead, I invite you to enter into a place where there is space, freedom, breath and fully step into it. If you keep doing this, over time you can create patterns that serve you better.

What I have realised is all the work I have been doing for over a year, and sometimes to be honest wondering if it was really working, what was the real benefit, I know now. I am, most of the time, in a much healthier head space and things don’t impact me as much or at least I am in control and at choice of how they affect me and how I choose to respond.

Want some of what I have been going on about?? Ping me a mail and lets chat sonia@creatingserenity.com

Preparing for breastfeeding – what does it mean to you

By On · Add Comment · In Balance, Guilt, Identity

The lovely Geraldine Miskin, who is passionate about empowering mums to create unique breastfeeding experiences that work for them and their families and overcome problems quickly and effectively, writes today’s blog:

As a mum, you will want to do the very best for your baby and breastfeeding is something that is very important and precious as it provides the very best nutrition and protection for your little one.

Breastfeeding is very easy and straight forward for many mums and will hopefully be for you to. If you are approaching your due date and have spare time on your hands, it may be helpful to consider the following points before your baby arrives. That way you can find the information you need to feel prepared and informed.

Why is breastfeeding important to you?

The health benefits of breast milk are well documented and published everywhere but mums have different reasons for wanting to breastfeed. Some mums want to breastfeed as they know it is best for both themselves and their baby, other mums feel that it is an important part of being a woman and mother, some mums feel that it is expected or that it will help them to feel like a good mum. There are many reasons other than health benefits that draw women to breastfeeding. What are your reasons for wanting to breastfeed?

Do you have breastfeeding goals and the tools to help you achieve them?

Birth plans are a great way to help you create a road map of how you would like your baby’s birth to unfold. Being informed helps you to make decisions that you are comfortable with, even when things don’t go entirely or exactly the way you had hoped they would. You are still in the driving seat and this is how it should be. It is after all your experience so it is right that you own it and enjoy it.

Being able to do this for your breastfeeding experience is equally important, as you will be prepared to address any changes that come your way. Knowing that breastfeeding doesn’t come easily to all mums, what challenges sometimes occur and how to resolve them or where to find help should you need it, will empower you to bring your breastfeeding back on track if you find that it goes a little wobbly. It is a new skill for both you and your baby, so if feeding is tricky to start with, you will feel reassured in the knowledge that you have the tools to hand to move breastfeeding forward in a positive way. Discussing your breastfeeding goals with a friend or informed health professional will also help you to explore the practical elements of reaching your goal.

What type of breastfeeding experience will suit you and your family?

The WHO states that babies should be exclusively breastfed for 6 months and then partially breastfed until the age of 2yrs old. Whilst this is optimal and ideal, is it what you want and will it fit in with your family or lifestyle. Whilst breastfeeding is the optimal way to feed babies, many mums consider combining breastfeeding with expressing and bottle-feeding, some prefer to express and bottle feed exclusively. Every drop of breast milk your baby receives is packed with goodness whether it is directly from the breast, via a nipple shield or even a bottle. There is no right or wrong way, just a way that works for you and your family.

Standard breastfeeding information doesn’t work as all mums and babies are different.

To get more expert breastfeeding tricks and advice Follow Geraldine On Facebook and Twitter

Taking the plunge – going solo

By On · 2 Comments · In Balance, Identity, Time

I have done it!! I have taken a leap of faith, taken the plunge and am embarking on being a solopreneur And being a more hands on mum.

Yay, celebrations!!

Finally the balance I have been longing for, my own business from home and being around more for my children is happening! I can’t quite believe it and am pinching myself.

I feel incredibly lucky to be in this superb position where I am building a business with passion, a business that can grow organically with me, a business I create that speaks to me. And while I am under no illusion it’s going to be a walk in the park, I am up for the challenge.

I have known this is the right decision for me and my family for a long time. I turned to the inner me for much needed guidance and listened. And what I heard and felt, was peace and serenity. It is a wonderful space to be in and I have bathed in it. The more I talked about leaving the safety of my 9-5 job, a job I have been doing for almost 9 years, and concentrate my efforts on what I love doing, calmness washes over me and it feels right.

I believe in listening to your body. Our bodies have the answers we are seeking, we just need to stop and listen. Become aware what is happening to us when a certain situation arises. Are we smiling, frowning, is our belly constricted, our shoulders tight, do we feel grounded, steady, how is our breathing? Getting curious about your body, describing your emotions, feelings, the believes you hold from this place, will allow you into your own kingdom of insight.

So, from September I will be working from home and having the wonderful opportunity to take my boys to their respective school/nursery and pick them up mid afternoon to enjoy the rest of the day with them. I envisage a different set of challenges over the horizon but as I write that, I have a big smile on my face.

Are you considering a big move, a change in your life and are unsure what the next steps are or how you really feel about it all? I would love to hear from you and be able to support you in creating those steps, from a place of truth and knowledge.

If you have a story to tell of a big move you have made, or are about to, please share what has supported you through it and any tips you may have.

A very proud moment

By On · Add Comment · In Balance, Guilt, Identity

From a mother’s wobble to a very proud mum. That was me last week after receiving Antonio’s nursery report and seeing him perform at his leavers songs at nursery.

Last Wednesday, I was given Antonio’s nursery report that will follow him to school in September. It was a long, very detailed report describing my son and his abilities, likes and the person they see that makes him unique. It was a glowing report and made me feel intensely proud. I shall cherish it forever.

Then last Thursday, it was Antonio’s official last day at nursery. After over 3 years of being looked after by some amazing teachers and having made very close friends, it was time to move on…

Antonio had been practicing his song for weeks. To be honest, I didn’t realise the enormity of it until the day got nearer. You could see Antonio was getting nervous but was also very proud of the song he had been given to sign. Even his brother, Tiago, started to join in when at home practicing. I don’t know what it is, but signing always gets to the core of me. Sending shivers down my spine and my hairs stand on end. And to hear your child signing is just the sweetest thing.

Emotion at the nursery was high that day. Teachers saying goodbye to the children they had supported and seen grow. To parents leaving the centre, a place where they had left their babies while they went to work knowing their treasures were kept safe,  looked after, loved and where lots of fun was had.

My husband and I were eager beavers and arrived at the nursery with lots of time to spare and couldn’t wait to see the performance. Then once the doors opened, we dashed into the room, sat down first row, of course! All the children were fabulous and it was truly amazing. So young and yet they stood in front of us parents and sang their songs and told us what they loved about their nursery and what they were looking forward to at their new school. Of course my favourite moment was when Antonio sang his song with two of his friends. My heart just burst with pride and I had to hold myself from getting up and giving him a big hug.

Wow, our babies grow up fast. Soaking up that day and the memories and how very proud I was/am of my son, is going to stay with me for a very long time.

It also made me realise how I don’t always see what an amazing, beautiful child Antonio is. And these special moments really bring home the important bits, the bigger picture and a glimpse of the amazing stuff yet to come.

Share some of your parent proud moments with us and how much they mean to you.

A mother’s wobble

By On · 2 Comments · In Balance, Guilt, Time

My eldest son, Antonio, is starting school in September and we are currently introducing him to the school, his teachers, his classroom etc. Remember in a previous post, I mentioned I had buried my head in the sand over this one, well it’s time to take it out!

Antonio and I went to visit the school the other week. We met his teachers, we were shown his classroom, we were informed of the structure of the day etc. To say the least it was a bit overwhelming for me, let alone for Antonio. He seems to currently be in the perspectives of ‘avoidance, ignoring, it’s not happening’ and also one of sadness, ‘I wont see my friends anymore’, ‘i wont see my teachers’ (who he adores).  His first and only question when we arrived at the school and for the next hour was ‘can I play football when I come to school?’. He even ignored his new teacher, whom he had met previously, very strongly telling me he didn’t know this woman speaking to him! I am sure it will be fine come September!!!

Aside from all of that, and what I need to remember to buy for Antonio before school starts, to take his lunch money that first day, where his class is, names of his teachers, homework etc etc, I lost my focus and was gripped by emotion. What is this about? Where has this emotion come from? Almost one of sadness, for him and for me. My little boy becoming a big school boy. I say to myself, it is natural, it is normal, it is the next step, he has outgrown nursery, and then why do I feel like this?

Your first day of school is such a big mile stone. I still remember mine. I was so scared by the big school and the big children. Maybe it’s my own experience that is putting a shadow over all of this.

How does a mother prepare herself for school??

My first step is to notice my emotions, acknowledge them and be curious about them. And also to talk about them to whoever will listen!! We all know by getting stuff out of our head and out into the open, be it to someone else, down on paper etc does amazing things to de-clutter and gain some clarity. Sometimes, even as you say out loud these thoughts, feelings, you start to get clear on what is really going on. My next step after that is to visualise the first day. How do I want it to be for me and for Antonio? What am I grateful for here and in all of this, allow space for the unexpected, good or bad. Whether Antonio runs into his class, waves me goodbye or clings to me, uncertain of what is going to happen.

Once I get clear on me, I will focus my attention on Antonio. What his needs are, where he is uncertain, how does he picture his first day. I will get creative with him, paint a picture, tell a story, inquire how he is through play to help him also get his feelings and thoughts out of his head. And through all of this, have bags and bags and bags of love for him and for myself.

Roll on September!