Are your days filled with doing what you don’t want instead of what you do want? Take a few reflective moments to consider where you need to set yourself boundaries.

Boundaries for me are about self-respect, looking after yourself, connection and communication with others. They are rules we get to create for our own wellbeing and to let those around us know how we function better (internally and externally) and what is important to us. What do boundaries mean to you?

Do you always say yes when asked to work late, do you want to please a client and say yes when they want an evening appointment with you and you end up missing your pilates session or you then miss putting your children to bed?  Do you put your own needs to the bottom of the list and then burn out?


Identify and get clear on what is important. eg, have breakfast with my wife in the mornings, not check my emails when I get home from work so I spend quality time with my kids, go running in my lunch hour to stay fit and feel good.

How can you set boundaries in your life to achieve what you want to do? What needs to be created to be able to go to your pilates class, put your children to bed, work when you are most efficient??

Here are some suggestions for you to try out:

1. Assign a time in the week to do something which is important to you. Date night, taking your kids to rugby classes, going swimming. Let everyone around you know what you are doing and that it is non negotiable.

2. Set limits on things that may interfere with the things that matter to you.

3. Drop the guilt if you can’t help everyone out who asks you. Be authentic in your reasons why you are saying no.

4. Be emotionally open about your feelings with yourself and with others. ‘I feel………….’. What does this give you when you are being honest and direct?

Setting boundaries further broadens our awareness of ourselves and helps us get back in the driving seat. What are you willing to do, accept, say yes to, say no to?

I am looking for people to interview who are overwhelmed by how much ‘stuff’ they have going on in life. These people are constantly chasing their tales, running around like headless chickens, burning out. Do you know anyone like this? If so, I would love to talk to them for research purposes and as a thank you I am giving away, a ‘tips on structuring your day’ sheet and 30 minutes with me to put action plans into place. e-mail me

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2 Responses to Setting Boundaries

  1. anna says:

    hi sonja,
    i might be a good person to interview! let me know if you still need people.
    take care

    • sonia says:

      Hi Anna, lovely to hear from you and thanks, it would be great to interview you. I’ll email you separately to arrange a convenient time. Thanks again!