I grew up in a very stable family. Parents at home every evening and our evenings were always the same. We had our routine and everyone knew what each other were doing and what time we would all be home. While some people might read this and think, boring (!) for me as a child this gave me incredible comfort and security. A sense of knowing, certainty and stability.

Family life these days can be very different. The working day doesn’t necessarily end with both parents finishing work at 5.30 pm, coming home and it’s family time. We now may have extensive travel in our jobs, flexi hours, networking events, working from home or running our own business, both of which can blur the boundaries between working time and family time, etc. Every evening a parent could be out or both parents could be out and you call in the babysitter. What effect is this having on our children? Will mum and dad be there this evening if I need them? The child may ask…

I am all for owning our lives, having our goals, wanting things just for us outside of being a parent or outside the family even. But have we gone too much the other way and are not realising our unintended impact on our children.

For me, a feeling has been getting stronger and stronger that I need to consider my family while fulfilling my dreams. How do I find the right balance and be fully present with whichever hat I am wearing at that moment? Be it mum, wife, life coach, student, legal secretary, friend, daughter, sister etc.

Lately most evenings either my husband or I are not around to put our boys to bed. Our boys recently have also been playing up and I have been labeling them as being ‘naughty’ BUT are they crying out for us to just be with them and not be on calls, flying off somewhere, going to that networking event. My gut is telling me to slow down and be home more for them.  If my business can’t grow as fast as I would ideally like it to, then so be it. Right now, I need to be putting my boys to bed.

Is living in the fast paced world we live in affecting your family?

If you would like support to evaluate where you are right now, what’s important to you, create a purposeful life for you and your family,  I would love to hear from you and have a chat.

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2 Responses to Do our children need certainty, routine and stability in their life

  1. Kirsten says:

    A lovely honest blog post, thanks for sharing. I have also questioned myself on those same issues while I try to balance all that I am with the desire and drive to raise a happy and healthy child. After my personal check, I have now been more strict with my time, with no blurring boundaries between work and time with my daughter. No quick texts or emails while we play, and housework is less of a priority over watching her dance or making a puzzle together.
    I believe this has made a huge difference in the quality of our interactions and a surprise outcome is that she is less demanding of my time now that the time I do spend with her is more quality and focused time.
    I too, have had to put a halt on the development of my business in the meantime but I am happy with this decision with the understanding that time is precious and especially so when she is little and yet to move fully into the school system. My time with the business will come but she is my priority now.
    Thanks again for this wonderful reminder that taking stock of priorities is so important for our own and our family’s well-being.

    • sonia says:

      Thank you Kirsten for your honest feedback. And how wonderful that you have found a structure, a way of being that work for you in balancing work and family and realising what’s really important! That’s great awareness. Keep it up. You are a great role model for us all 🙂

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